"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "Hmm... How do you start a flood?" he asked.

He asked one of the local cowboys, "What do you do when you get the urge for a woman?"

The cowboy replied, "See them thar'sheep up on thet hill. We just go git us one."

"That is disgusting and barbaric!!" replied the lawyer.

After about 3 months the lawyer could not stand it any longer. He decided though, if he was going to do a sheep, he would show these yokels how to do it right. He picked out the prettiest sheep of the bunch, bathed her, put a pink ribbon on her, served her hay on a china plate, dressed her in fine lingerie, and then took the sheep to bed.

After he finished he decided to take his new found lover out for a drink. He wandered into the local saloon with the sheep under his arm. The piano fell silent, people dropped drinks, and all the cowboys turned, and stared in shocked disbelief.

The lawyer said, "You bunch of hypocrites. You look at me as if I'm some sort of freak for doing what you've been doing all along. I'm just doing it with more class."

"That ain't the problem," replied one cowboy. "That's the sheriff's gal you're with."

Lawyer 1 said he had gotten so drunk that he became disoriented and was very sick. When he arrived home he said that he was in such bad shape that he even blew chunks.

Lawyer 2 said he thought he had an even worse experience. He lost control of his new BMW and totalled it by driving it into a utility pole. Fortunately, he wasn't injured in the crash.

Lawyer 3 claimed his experience was the worst. He said when he got home his girlfriend was so pissed at him for being out late that she started throwing things at him. She totally destroyed a Ming dynasty vase that had an appraised value of over a half a million dollars. Then she went into the garage and started up his new Ferrari after dumping sugar in the gas tank.

Lawyer 1 was standing there just shaking his head and crying uncontrollably. The other two asked him what was the matter. He said, "You guys just don't understand - "Chunks" is my dog!"

It was a nice day at the park by the lake. Three guys were casting theirs lines to catch some fish and a couple were rowing in a small boat.

Two crows were cruising by, eyeing for some targets to poop on. (Those nasty birds!) The younger of the two crows tried to show off and dove onto those three guys.

Tut, tut, tut. But it went thud, thud, hitting only two of the three. The older crow went towards the couple in the moving row boat. Tut, tut. And it went thud, hitting only one of the couples. Since this was a moving target, it didn't seem all that bad.

Then out from nowhere came this little bird, wings still wet like it was just been hatched. It dove towards those three guys. Tut, tut, tut. Thud, thud, thud. It swooped over to the row boat. Tut, tut. Thud, thud. Then a kid riding a bike came around. It flew over there. Tut. Thud. And it then rested on a tree branch.

So the two crows felt embarrassed and went over there, said, "We are

impressed! Where do you learn to poop on people like that?"

The little one said, "I may be a new hatch but I've got plenty of

experience. In my former life I was a lawyer."